The Mystery of the LLAMA

The LLAMA. Usually known to many as an animal lama glama. But at MSA, it has another meaning. At MSA, LLAMA is the greatest atrocity one can commit. LLAMA means "no Lap, Laying, And Mouth Adhesion." But what does that exactly mean?

Lap means that at MSA, it is not allowed to run laps around the campus. Every morning at 6:30 am, there is an optional run that scholars can go on. But this is a trick, a trap to get scholars to commit the first sin of LLAMA and have them run laps. Lap also means the unique manner in which dogs drink water. The water in the water fountains of MSA is notoriously bad with a harsh chemical taste. If you give in to this bad water and drink it like a dog, then that is committing the sin of Lap

Next is the sin of Laying. The rules of LLAMA impede more and more on the daily lives of the scholars. First was the rule forbidding the lapping up of water, now the rules forbid laying down, not even to sleep at night or to rest.

Finally, the sin of Mouth Adhesion. This term is much easier to define than the others. Mouth adhesion entails the act of attaching your mouth to anything, including eating food and drinking water. Mouth adhesion truly is the worst of the LLAMA rules, subjecting us scholars to starvation and dehydration, as adhering our mouths to anything is strictly forbidden.

If you have plans to come to MSA, know the LLAMA. Expect the LLAMA. Live the LLAMA. Only then will you survive at this place.