By: Christopher Allen
Kate Votaw is a professor at the University of Missouri St. Louis she has a degree in Psychology as well as a degree in music education. She came to the Missouri Scholars Academy for a double header on “The Physiology of Psychology” and “The Psychology of Death: What happens when your reminded of your own death.” I attended both and was allowed an interview afterwards.
Christopher R. Allen
So when were you first interested in Psychology?
Kate Vowtaw
So I had a really good psychology teacher in high school. I came from a small high school, so she taught lots of different social sciences, but it was [maybe just] a one-semester course in high school and I just really took to it.
It came kind of easily and was just really interesting and I got more into the papers that we were writing for that class. I thought well if I like it, I should probably stick with it and maybe eventually someone will give me a job and eventually they did. But it was Mrs. Henry’s psychology class, senior year of high school.
Christopher R. Allen
Death is always fascinated Western cultures. What about it fascinates you?
Kate Vowtaw
So I have kind of a personal answer and more of an academic answer. So the academic answer is really what I talked about in my talk tonight that I am interested in the effects of thinking on death particularly in Western cultures where we are interested in it, but we kind of repress it.
And so seeing what are the effects of that on individual behaviors and thoughts and especially when we [sic]step back and look at how the group behaves that's what I'm most interested in then. So [what] we talked about for example felt a little coded; but I at least interpreted the gentleman who's sitting up here when he was talking about the effects after 9/11 and how our country has responded to people of Arab descent. That's really interesting to me as a potential explanation for otherwise baffling behaviors.
Personally. I always [for] as long as I can remember kind of been interested in the macabre as a young kid. I remember reading my mom's Unsolved Mysteries like big picture book and I think for that it really ultimately comes down to a way of handling anxiety for me.
I don't have like crippling anxiety, but I feel better knowing that I could escape a dangerous situation if I have read about and examined and watch videos of those dangerous situations, and so I kind of seek them out in that way. But, I think ultimately it comes down to understanding what ultimately is the hardest thing in the world to understand, [which] is like ceasing to exist.
Christopher R. Allen
Low points or points where you doubted yourself?
Kate Vowtaw
Oooh. So. Just in general?
Christopher R. Allen
In general for your career all of the above.
Kate Vowtaw
Yeah, so I think let me talk slowly and think it out. So I think as someone who's generally,[sic] [a] pretty bright [sic] individual,I often find myself surrounded by other bright individuals and I think that it's really easy to get caught up in feelings of imposter syndrome.
So I've had that a lot in my life. [sic] Whenever I was an undergraduate and I knew I wanted to go to graduate school because I knew I wanted to teach and I needed a PhD for that. You just hear about how competitive it is. We think “Ooh, I'm not good enough, I'm not that competitive.” Turns out I was good enough, I got into one school and it was it was great. It was a great fit. Then once you're in graduate school, and it's just always comparing yourself to other people who are very high achieving as they're publishing more or they understand statistics better or they remember different theories better. Whatever it might be. Even in my experience at St. Louis University that ultimately was really positive, it still is just by nature a competitive thing. So there you have imposter syndrome. Now, as a teacher at UMSL (University of Missouri St. Louis) I still think, “Who gave me this job? Why was I the one chosen?”, and I think at MSA honestly is a place, where you’re so surrounded by just the brightest most interesting people and you think “I'm not that interesting.” But this isn't quite what you asked but I would still encourage, those are all times a little on the big side, but true times when I doubted. I guess I would say like almost everyday, I doubt myself but it's because I choose to grow by continuing to surround myself by people to, the challenge and grow up. So, so like almost every day. I continue to think “someone's going to find out about me” but a lot of that is a choice to surround myself just by really inspiring, interesting, highly motivated individuals
Christopher R. Allen
High points?
Kate Vowtaw
So this might sound like I'm just saying this because I'm here but truly I feel like the best version of myself was when I was an RA at MSA. I really really thrived there because again, it's kind of what I was talking about. Of course, there was like some like ooh everybody is more interesting than me or smarter than me, but more [it] is just a chance to be entirely immersed with these just crazy bright and sharp individuals and they bring you up, so that absolutely was a high point for me. I hope I didn't peek at like 22, but it was the third year that I was an RA was probably the best three weeks of my life. Besides that I think a high point has just been that I my position where I teach now is a very good fit I get to talk to people about psychology all day my classes are all discussion-based. So the students come into the classroom with their experiences and takes on it and I get to just kind of lead discussion. I get to be authentic and kind of build a community. I'm a very enthusiastic individual and I get to authentically be enthusiastic with them.
So it's kind of a prolonged high point but that continues to be a high point.
Christopher R. Allen
How has psychology changed your worldview and how you view people?
Kate Vowtaw
That's a good question. So I don't know which came first but I feel like I was always drawn to the sort of person because so so a person does a behavior. And there are witnesses to it and they try to explain that behavior. why would that person do that? And there are people very close in my life who often tend to say, like what's wrong with that person? Why would they do that? Like I would never do that and make it very about the individual. So like internal attribution, something about that person's personality.
I think I was drawn to psychology and then further like Alice down the hole or something, just like went deeper and deeper and deeper, into social psychology that looks at behavior and says what external factors can explain that behavior.
So it really has changed my worldview in a really significant I think irreversible sort of way. But I know sometimes people are just being jerks and that is their personality and that's it. But a lot of times what I'm interested in is what are the external factors that could explain this what beyond their personality could lead any person to behave that way and that's usually how I approach situations now.
Christopher R. Allen
Music and psychology an interesting combination as someone who is a former musician and interested in Psychology how does that work?
Kate Vowtaw
I wish I had a better answer. So I know that there is like, research on music and psychology. I personally know less about that, but, you even know that even in terms of treatment.
Music therapy is an option. I don't know if this really is a great answer but music for me, I don't play music anymore, It's kind of sad, but I still find for me music is the closest that I personally have to experiences that are bigger than myself. So whenever I listen to very moving music, classical music or a movie score, it is the closest that I have to just feeling connected to everything and everyone that's ever been. It's like the closest I have, personally it's like a spiritual movement. I don't really know how that ties to psychology necessarily but I can maybe just something about the humanity of both of the fields, again, I'm just kind of maybe just drawn to that as a person.
It's a good question.
Christopher R. Allen
Advice for Scholars?
Kate Vowtaw
Here's my words of advice for Scholars and it comes from a place that I see many of you [in] in the future. I teach college students. Um, most of them are 18, 19, 20 year-olds. And the biggest thing there are also many of them are like you that they truly are bright, gifted, motivated, achieving like you do.
The biggest thing that I see is that whatever things have maybe been easy academically or socially or personally that it's really hard to fail and so my words of advice to Scholars would be that like that is when the growth happens to truly to try new things and be okay just being okay at something or being okay sucking at something.
And if it's something that will interest you carrying on or being like no this isn't for me, but you get to be the one to make that call versus just being like “well, I wasn't good at this so I won't do it anymore.” I think the biggest thing that I see is just that resilience and openness, honestly openness to failure and experimentation.
Even if it's hard, even if you're not the best person at it, I think just when I see people who are used to, maybe being the best that can really be a challenge. So I would want to encourage you to continue to take the sort of attitude that you've had here where it's a place where you can't fail and you can experiment and grow and continue to have that mindset once you leave the academy and you can be the leader in that and bring others out of cynicism like into growth with you.
Christopher R. Allen
So when were you first interested in Psychology?
Kate Vowtaw
So I had a really good psychology teacher in high school. I came from a small high school, so she taught lots of different social sciences, but it was [maybe just] a one-semester course in high school and I just really took to it.
It came kind of easily and was just really interesting and I got more into the papers that we were writing for that class. I thought well if I like it, I should probably stick with it and maybe eventually someone will give me a job and eventually they did. But it was Mrs. Henry’s psychology class, senior year of high school.
Christopher R. Allen
Death is always fascinated Western cultures. What about it fascinates you?
Kate Vowtaw
So I have kind of a personal answer and more of an academic answer. So the academic answer is really what I talked about in my talk tonight that I am interested in the effects of thinking on death particularly in Western cultures where we are interested in it, but we kind of repress it.
And so seeing what are the effects of that on individual behaviors and thoughts and especially when we [sic]step back and look at how the group behaves that's what I'm most interested in then. So [what] we talked about for example felt a little coded; but I at least interpreted the gentleman who's sitting up here when he was talking about the effects after 9/11 and how our country has responded to people of Arab descent. That's really interesting to me as a potential explanation for otherwise baffling behaviors.
Personally. I always [for] as long as I can remember kind of been interested in the macabre as a young kid. I remember reading my mom's Unsolved Mysteries like big picture book and I think for that it really ultimately comes down to a way of handling anxiety for me.
I don't have like crippling anxiety, but I feel better knowing that I could escape a dangerous situation if I have read about and examined and watch videos of those dangerous situations, and so I kind of seek them out in that way. But, I think ultimately it comes down to understanding what ultimately is the hardest thing in the world to understand, [which] is like ceasing to exist.
Christopher R. Allen
Low points or points where you doubted yourself?
Kate Vowtaw
Oooh. So. Just in general?
Christopher R. Allen
In general for your career all of the above.
Kate Vowtaw
Yeah, so I think let me talk slowly and think it out. So I think as someone who's generally,[sic] [a] pretty bright [sic] individual,I often find myself surrounded by other bright individuals and I think that it's really easy to get caught up in feelings of imposter syndrome.
So I've had that a lot in my life. [sic] Whenever I was an undergraduate and I knew I wanted to go to graduate school because I knew I wanted to teach and I needed a PhD for that. You just hear about how competitive it is. We think “Ooh, I'm not good enough, I'm not that competitive.” Turns out I was good enough, I got into one school and it was it was great. It was a great fit. Then once you're in graduate school, and it's just always comparing yourself to other people who are very high achieving as they're publishing more or they understand statistics better or they remember different theories better. Whatever it might be. Even in my experience at St. Louis University that ultimately was really positive, it still is just by nature a competitive thing. So there you have imposter syndrome. Now, as a teacher at UMSL (University of Missouri St. Louis) I still think, “Who gave me this job? Why was I the one chosen?”, and I think at MSA honestly is a place, where you’re so surrounded by just the brightest most interesting people and you think “I'm not that interesting.” But this isn't quite what you asked but I would still encourage, those are all times a little on the big side, but true times when I doubted. I guess I would say like almost everyday, I doubt myself but it's because I choose to grow by continuing to surround myself by people to, the challenge and grow up. So, so like almost every day. I continue to think “someone's going to find out about me” but a lot of that is a choice to surround myself just by really inspiring, interesting, highly motivated individuals
Christopher R. Allen
High points?
Kate Vowtaw
So this might sound like I'm just saying this because I'm here but truly I feel like the best version of myself was when I was an RA at MSA. I really really thrived there because again, it's kind of what I was talking about. Of course, there was like some like ooh everybody is more interesting than me or smarter than me, but more [it] is just a chance to be entirely immersed with these just crazy bright and sharp individuals and they bring you up, so that absolutely was a high point for me. I hope I didn't peek at like 22, but it was the third year that I was an RA was probably the best three weeks of my life. Besides that I think a high point has just been that I my position where I teach now is a very good fit I get to talk to people about psychology all day my classes are all discussion-based. So the students come into the classroom with their experiences and takes on it and I get to just kind of lead discussion. I get to be authentic and kind of build a community. I'm a very enthusiastic individual and I get to authentically be enthusiastic with them.
So it's kind of a prolonged high point but that continues to be a high point.
Christopher R. Allen
How has psychology changed your worldview and how you view people?
Kate Vowtaw
That's a good question. So I don't know which came first but I feel like I was always drawn to the sort of person because so so a person does a behavior. And there are witnesses to it and they try to explain that behavior. why would that person do that? And there are people very close in my life who often tend to say, like what's wrong with that person? Why would they do that? Like I would never do that and make it very about the individual. So like internal attribution, something about that person's personality.
I think I was drawn to psychology and then further like Alice down the hole or something, just like went deeper and deeper and deeper, into social psychology that looks at behavior and says what external factors can explain that behavior.
So it really has changed my worldview in a really significant I think irreversible sort of way. But I know sometimes people are just being jerks and that is their personality and that's it. But a lot of times what I'm interested in is what are the external factors that could explain this what beyond their personality could lead any person to behave that way and that's usually how I approach situations now.
Christopher R. Allen
Music and psychology an interesting combination as someone who is a former musician and interested in Psychology how does that work?
Kate Vowtaw
I wish I had a better answer. So I know that there is like, research on music and psychology. I personally know less about that, but, you even know that even in terms of treatment.
Music therapy is an option. I don't know if this really is a great answer but music for me, I don't play music anymore, It's kind of sad, but I still find for me music is the closest that I personally have to experiences that are bigger than myself. So whenever I listen to very moving music, classical music or a movie score, it is the closest that I have to just feeling connected to everything and everyone that's ever been. It's like the closest I have, personally it's like a spiritual movement. I don't really know how that ties to psychology necessarily but I can maybe just something about the humanity of both of the fields, again, I'm just kind of maybe just drawn to that as a person.
It's a good question.
Christopher R. Allen
Advice for Scholars?
Kate Vowtaw
Here's my words of advice for Scholars and it comes from a place that I see many of you [in] in the future. I teach college students. Um, most of them are 18, 19, 20 year-olds. And the biggest thing there are also many of them are like you that they truly are bright, gifted, motivated, achieving like you do.
The biggest thing that I see is that whatever things have maybe been easy academically or socially or personally that it's really hard to fail and so my words of advice to Scholars would be that like that is when the growth happens to truly to try new things and be okay just being okay at something or being okay sucking at something.
And if it's something that will interest you carrying on or being like no this isn't for me, but you get to be the one to make that call versus just being like “well, I wasn't good at this so I won't do it anymore.” I think the biggest thing that I see is just that resilience and openness, honestly openness to failure and experimentation.
Even if it's hard, even if you're not the best person at it, I think just when I see people who are used to, maybe being the best that can really be a challenge. So I would want to encourage you to continue to take the sort of attitude that you've had here where it's a place where you can't fail and you can experiment and grow and continue to have that mindset once you leave the academy and you can be the leader in that and bring others out of cynicism like into growth with you.
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